I'm sitting here in bed with my laptop, guitar, and cats, trying to do something productive. I've been sick for about a week, and it sucks. Everyone I know got their free H1N1 vaccines while I was in China. I didn't. So, here I am with the swine flu. If I don't start improving by Monday, I'm going to the emergency room.

Actually, it's just like the normal flu, just a little more intense. The whole swine flu scare is being blown out of proportion, I think. It's not that bad. On the bright side, I get more creative when I'm doped up on medication.

For example, you remember pokemon? That was a big part of my childhood, playing pokemon on gameboy. I grew out of it after the Silver version came out, but apparently it really went downhill right around there.

Anyway, I have this brilliant idea that will make me rich. I'm going to start a pokemon-like franchise, but it's going to be R-RATED! You travel around a bizarre, fictional world, catching weird creatures that you carry around in balls and use to fight against NPCs and other wild creatures. But these aren't just any creatures. They're absolutely not suitable for children!

For example, a regular battle will go like this:

Enemy DILDO used VIBRATE! DILDO's ATTACK went up!
CANNABIS used OVERDOSE! DILDO fainted!
CHILD MOLESTER DEREK sent out F***BALL! F***BALL used DATE RAPE!
CANNABIS got raped! CANNABIS can't remember the night before! CANNABIS got HIV!

You get the picture. Oh, and all the NPCs will be child molesters, drug addicts, sex addicts, alcoholics, and prostitutes. And instead of Team Rocket as the evil society, there will be a gang of rapists instead. Or maybe Neonazis. I haven't decided yet. And at the marts, you can buy condoms and stuff to use on your monsters during battle. And of course, you can always get BALLS.

One of my friends called me the other day while I was doped up on meds, and I told her all about my brilliant idea. She told me to go back to bed.

Anyway, I'm writing again. I will hopefully have another chapter of Helter Skelter up before New Year's. I'm also waiting for my voice to get back to normal so I can record my next song.